Caps collapse, followed by another Nats post All-Star break meltdown, then a slide right into the Skins yearly failure, only to have it all wrapped up with the Trump inauguration in January.

A scholarship to an SEC school.

Future Will Cain features on ESPN:

Unfortunately, poisonous workplace attitudes like this are usually a top-down thing, especially in sales environments. The owner of the dealership is probably a total asshole, and probably fosters this behavior in his staff because it makes them 'better' salespeople.

You got your $7 back. All is right with the world.

Uh, if you can think of a food angle to the Charlie Hebdo massacre, so that I can cover it on my food blog called Foodspin, I'm all ears.

Last I checked, gangsters have committed to a life of crime. Cops have taken an oath to uphold it.

So, Adrian Peterson isn't all that sorry that he hit his son with a switch, but he is sorry that he hurt his son while hitting him with a switch. Makes sense.

Once upon a season dreary,
while I pondered a weak secondary
And dreams of many quaint and curious playoffs of forgotten lore
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came thunder clapping,
As of reporters fap fap fapping, fapping at Ray of yore
What murder? Sell some jerseys! Bilk the fans! Forget the gore!

Somewhere there's a hot sports take being written about Mankins' selfishness hurting the team. For some reason "a contract is a contract" only when a player is holding out, not when a team demands you take a pay cut or take a walk.

Last gal's friend is just trying to relate. New mom probably won't shut up about the kids, and so the topic of "taking care of an inferior being" ends up being the only common ground.

You're not "J. Howard," you're "Commenter Rookie Bitch."

You love watching your Ravens defeat the competition—especially on grainy security camera footage.

...Well knock me over with a feather. I can safely say that I did not see that coming.

Where would the thumb go... lil man in the canoe?

Oh no, the worst thing that can happen to someone is that they have a brief period of job uncertainty and awareness that people don't like them (for completely justified reasons). Everyone needs to be really careful to underscore the tragic suffering of Riley Cooper and get defensive on his behalf.

Fuck you.