For reasons stated clearly in the comments, your list sucks. 

That was better than the movie itself.

I can’t believe that two grown women asked another grown woman that question.

The Good Place.  Highly recommended.

This is like the people who collected Beanie Babies. They are worthless now.

So you work out of the goodness of your heart?

Don’t be dense. You know what I mean. 

This book sells itself. 

It didn’t warrant for the police to come to the house. They can’t do anything anyway. A police report for something like this does literally nothing. You get this in front of the district attorney by hiring a lawyer.

God I hope you don’t have a daughter.  You are vile.

facts.

This just in:  Water is wet. 

Oh, it’s about him.  I can tell you that with certainty even though I never heard it. 

Scab.  The end.

Aren’t we all?

I’m Italian.  Homegirl was MAD.

Please stop talking.

I want to start at the first movie and go in order, but it just seems so exhausting.  I’ll need a week.

How about throwing some money at Hawaii??? 

There are no female late-night hosts.  RIP Joan Rivers.