Okay, so nothing really happened... Except inside your head.

I thought you DID mean masturbating, and I loved you for it.

Squirt squirt! Blue Ivy be thursty!!!!!!!!!! Yes, I am a 12-year-old boy.

One day!!

All I can think is:

Hm (if anyone can,) only the French could understand what the hell she is talking about...

He could just be naked forever and I'd be content.

Trying to make lemonade from water and lemons is a thing? Man, that sounds like waaaaay too much effort. I'd rather just have water! What is wrong with these women?

I prefer Camembert Slough Biscuits myself.

I love your Handle! I'm picturing the ending, when he is pouring vodka or whatever into a milkshake... Hahahahah!

This sounds like Santa Cruz...

According to the NY Post that woman in the second story is supposed to enjoy things like that!

WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING IN THIS STORY??????

Ohhh man. For the second one, I thought the guy was telling his friend to fuck HIM in the ass one last time! I stand corrected.

$$$

Or fracking, ala Battlestar Galactica.

What are you flipping talking about?? Flip off!

You, my dear, are a bbad vegetarian at that...

HAHA WOW. I was wondering when the creative writing was gonna kick in and, my, you did not disappoint C/A.

Haha and everyone was sooooooooo worried that Avril Lavigne was offending the Japanese.... Right.