I’m not greedy. How about a small percentage of your contract? Or, we can pay by the hour. A few hundred an hour seems reasonable. Think of me like a lawyer, but more qualified and more important. You only need a lawyer when you do something wrong, but my services are helpful when you do something right as well.…

“if e did a atste test you would pass ti”

Ok, fox and friends, you got me. I’ll admit Harvey weinstein is a creep and unqualified to be president.

You know it’s Monday right? Too much work to piece that together this early lol.

John Lackey Blame Odds

UNC student-athletes will be thrilled once someone reads this story to them.

I also like the Fenway-specific version. Is it worse to have a bullshit pop-up go over the monster, or to have a 500-foot bomb whack off the wall for a single?

Good one Nana!

I think he was in Candyland after the first shot

Another handy tip for avoiding Nazis on Twitter: don’t use Twitter.

Hey TheKinjaPlace, come tell this guy that his friend should’ve done better.

Ugh. I respect the game, but this one just didn’t land for me.

In the immortal words of Christopher Hitchens, if you gave Trump an enema you could bury him in a matchbox.

Like they eat salads

Ssssspluurrrroooooch........sssssquueennnch.........fffffffffffplllllllllop

There is no way these Rick and Morty nerds appreciate porn on the same level as I do.

Be sure he has recently showered.

Ladies and gentlemen... the President of the United States... Sean Hannity.