You don’t understand how this rises to a federal case? It rises to a federal case because it gets big headlines. There aren’t a ton of federal cases that get major headlines in the A section and the sports section, that lead on both CNN and ESPN. Not many cases attract the attention of a nation of yokels who would…

Hank Hill will be the new Asian correspondent for the Olympics:

Has Greg Howard assaulted anyone there yet?

h/t doorfliesopen.com

If you’re going to loot a gas station, do it right.

The suspect was apprehended after he tried to pawn 9 Jerky Boy CDs.

Police left after discovering that “burglary” is just what Gronkowski calls a cookout.

That is not the two digit number I expected to see on Gronk’s front door.

On the one hand, that’s hilarious and awesome of Giannis. There is nothing about him that doesn’t seem amazing. What a guy.

An appropriate homage to former Eagles coach Buddy Ryan’s 4'6" defense.

https://deadspin.com/5882588/my-husband-can-not-fucking-throw-the-ball-and-catch-the-ball-at-the-same-time-gisele-is-pissed-at-the-patriots-dropped-passes

I drink his tears. But only because they’re perfectly pH balanced to my body’s chakra and infused with minerals and a lemon flavor.

Tom Brady: somehow the one white guy on the Pats who *can’t* catch a pass

Service animals and emotional support animals are not the same.

What’s that smell?

What the hell was she doing!?

Well this is somehow my favorite comment. Elegant, simple, right to the point.

I don’t trust the NCAA to handle this properly.