...because Chevy’s uncommonly dull $30K car will make our beautiful $35k Tesla III fly off the shelves in 2017*.

...and this is why I’m waiting for the Tesla III.

I was wondering under what circumstances does one not know that banging their head against sh*t for a couple decades causes mental problems?

“Here is how Brian McCarthy, the NFL spokesman, initially described Pellman’s role to me:

Orlando is getting a new MLS stadium and isn’t paying a dime of it with tax-payer money. One Orlando reporter even quipped that “privately financed stadiums are as un-American as a balanced budget.”

“Wait...what the f did I come up here to do?”

“Wait...what the f did I come up here to do?”

Reminds me of a friend who climbed the ranks of UPS rather well, and did so, in part, due to a game he called “package baseball.”

Minus connecting to my smart home devices and playing music, what reason is there to buy this? And I’m not trying to sound like a jacka$$, I’m genuinely asking.

Minus connecting to my smart home devices and playing music, what reason is there to buy this? And I’m not trying to…

Either Detroit hires terrible candidates that wouldn’t have gotten a shot else, or decent coaches have their names so badly tainted by their association with the team that it makes them unhireable.

Love it, man! My teacher did that to sleeping students. It both dealt with & de-escalated a situation through levity. Win-win.

All the players asked, as well as head coach Jason Garrett, said Hardy was merely trying to fire up the team.

I’m not gonna lie, the only reason I bought it is because Dexter made it look cool.

I’m not gonna lie, the only reason I bought it is because Dexter made it look cool.

Someone needs to start Operation F-Off.

I was behind a painfully-obvious impaired driver in Connecticut who had been going my route for miles while nearly hitting everything along the way. Needless to say, passing him wasn’t an easy task.

Option C.

Dear Elon,

Whelp...someone didn’t forget to eat their racist Wheaties this morning.

A guy giving free food to people who don’t need free food doesn’t make him a douche, but it certainly doesn’t disqualify him either.

With almost 50% of American millennials in low-wage, dead-end jobs, you sure have an optimistic outlook on life here in the US.