That soup recipe story reminds me of the time I found a soup chef’s recipe in this armoire I got. He was such a strict man, very particular about his soup and customers...

Perhaps his hovercraft is full of eels?

I will not buy this tobacconist, it is scratched.

Since when do gentlemen frequent Jalopnik? ;)

Even if it was you could recover much of the sale price selling tarantulas

Roger the Car Salesman: My name’s Roger, Sir. May I be of some help?
Memphis: That’s funny, my name’s Roger... Two Rogers don’t make a right.
[laughs]
Memphis: Roger, I have a problem...
Roger the Car Salesman: Yes?
Memphis: I’ve been in L.A. for three months now. I have money, I have taste. But I’m not on anybody’s “A”…

I also watch all your videos in a mirror so my brain can handle it.

I used to just think you were crazy.
Now, I know that you’re crazy.
Keep doing what you’re doing Doug.

The seller says the car goes like a bat out of hell

Enzo engine + Chevy Lumina Euro= best/worst sleeper ever.

It’s a world full of junk

What the hell is a Ciera? That’s not even a thing. Maybe that’s why it was a piece of shit in the first place. I despise nearly all Oldsmobiles except the Toronado and the Aurora (1st gen)