I’m trying not to roll my eyes into another dimension from the fact he got that out without dropping dead from lie-related toxicity

Oh, there it is. Poor thing. Life is so hard. “Guys, why can’t I be an asshole at work?”

Her boyfriend’s name is probably Chase. Or Conner, with an “e”.

Best friend: Amanda

I actually hate the ice cream truck in my town, because it drives down my street full speed, playing the damn song, without stopping. I don’t know where it does stop, but ain’t anywhere near my house. So I’m stuck with Pavlovian desire for ice cream, and I can’t buy it.

You triggered me.

True story, I dated a guy who lived down the street from the ice cream truck depot in the West Village. Around 5pm, every summer evening, they all roll out as an adorably coordinated sugar-fueled cheer army. The jingles were always delightful because even though they were loud, they just sound like happiness.

Yeah, the people who thought Hillary Clinton was a socialist would have absolutely voted for someone who calls himself one.

The DNC didn’t anoint her as anything. The Democratic Party voted for her.
She was the chosen candidate of the DNC in 2008 too and she still lost. If Bernie had run a better campaign and Clinton hadn’t spent 30 years creating a network of political pros at her disposal, he would have won.

Clinton 65,844,954

“Someone remind me why Sanders’ inner circle wrote off the South again?”

Why is she hitting drywall with a hammer, seemingly at random? What outcome is she hoping for?

“But but rich people won’t steal! And he has nice daughters!”.

I, for one, am shocked, shocked to find that Trump is a lying con man. Nobody could possibly have known.

Hurts to wake up and realize your party is the party of Trump, huh?

If they don’t care about those things, then they need to stop openly courting those beliefs; stop courting bigots and racists and putting those things in their platform. Until then, your “secret” is bullshit and this is the stuff your party stands for.

Never mind that their entire “economic” message is a lie, too.

T…

One side has “don’t let gay people get married ever” in their platform. One.
One side openly courts white supremacy. One.
One side actively works to strip people of their civil rights. One.

So yeah. Ditch the wingnuts and then talk to me. “Right-leaning” in 2016 means wishing those darn gay people and women and…

I’m someone who’s freely criticized both major parties in the past and will certainly do so in the future, but the Democratic Party wasn’t the one stirring its base into a frenzied bloodlust about jailing and executing the opponent, or crafting outlandish conspiracies like saying the opponent murdered people.

What are they going to do, drool on us?

Lindsey Jaffe here to answer all your questions.