Yeah like...I went to a super demanding liberal arts college and majored in Latin, of all ivory tower things, but we didn’t have a Deli Meats of the World class, as far as I can recall? People learn sandwich fixin names by going to sandwich places, not by having a degree past high school!

Ah yes, I remember when in college I too took the mandatory course in my third year that explained food from other cultures. Prior to that, I remember how I would pass out when reading the menu at an Italian Restaurant because my brain couldn’t comprehend the words it was seeing.

I’m sure Bannon’s father is proud.

They are generally not aggressive unless surprised or looking for food.

My worst recurring nightmare is that there is a HUGE wad of gum in my mouth (despite the fact that I don’t chew gum) and I’m in public. When I try to take it out there is suddenly a limitless amount and no matter how much I pull out of my mouth there are gobs more of it. Everyone is staring as I yank handfuls of the…

Putin will bring menstruating women with him into a meeting to scare Trump.

Just want to say that as an American woman living in Texas: the chance of dying of pregnancy and maternity complications is several hundreds of times higher than my chances of being murdered by an undocumented immigrant. PRIORITIES!!

“Zaddy” sounds like slang from the early 20th century. “Zooks, Zaddy, it’s 23-skidoo for us and your zoot suit!”

This one is still my favorite:

Meanwhile the DC garbage can thieves still roll free.

I am home.

“Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.” -President Pence, 30 seconds later.

“Why doth the peasantry fret so o’er this ‘Black Death’? ” ~Lord Pence, c. 1350 

Why is this dickhole still talking about Hillary and the election?

SO. Last week at this time I was nervously biting my nails waiting to see if the seller would accept our offer (and also starting the process of thinking “well, it’s fine, no one gets their first choice of house anyway,” etc) and then! Monday morning we found out that she accepted our offer! We were forced to not ask…

I’m putting an offer on a house tomorrow!

Tax attorney here. Get yourself to see a professional and they will help you. If you cannot afford legal or tax advice, contact the IRS and it will work with you to repay your back taxes. So many people are afraid of the IRS they avoid communicating with them, but they really will help you. It’s in their best…

I went to Spain alone a few years ago. Here’s my two cents: definitely go, but book a tour, like on a company called Globus. They take you from site to site, and there are people you could talk to if you wanted. You could also talk to no one. I got really lonely and, even though I spoke the language, was concerned…

So many of my comments in real life and here and elsewhere on the web boil down to “Jesus, look at this fucking asshole right here”, and I mean to one day change that and cleanse myself of this all-consuming hatred, but Jesus, look at this asshole right here.

I eloped yesterday! It was small and quick as hell and awesome.