Yeah, that was more or less my assumption.

I cannot express how much that made my day.

I liked the part where he was like "step" and then "hat." I also liked the part where it was like "Vrooooom." I can't wait to see where this is going.

"And we only do 5% blackface!"

How do you eat nachos with a fork? I'm asking in a logistical sense. If you stab a nacho, wouldn't it break? if you 'scoop' to avoid breakage, wouldn't a spoon be better?

...the world I grew up in is dead.

And here he is:

McGriddles!!!!

I refuse to believe I'm the only jezzie who patrons them golden arches for the illustrutive food product known as McGriddles!

The first thing I thought reading this was "MCGRIDDLES." My hungover guilty pleasure that I will hopefully no longer need to wake up early for.

God I love potatoes.

Oh great, now I want a McGriddle. I heard those things have like 2000 calories in them.

McGriddles all up in my face hole!

Curves is a company known for emphasizing their history of focusing on healthy weight loss.

BAH HUMBUG

I've never liked Valentine's Day—way too saccharine. But I happy celebrate February 15, AKA International 50% Off Chocolate Day.

You hush your mouth! Encyclopedia Brown made way more sense than Woody.

Sure. Actual footage of Kim entering the classroom that first day of class:

None of this is surprising. People who do business with puppy mills and sell living creatures for profit are miserable, awful people who do despicable things and treat animals like inventory. Thank god all the puppies made it out.

I have never been more jealous of anybody in my life.