Honestly, if they're going to rape people, let's teach them to instagram the crap out of it. It makes prosecution so much easier.

a female astronaut trying to reconnect with her family when she returns after a year in outer space.

Dick rolled?

My toddler also thinks people are watching her from smoke detectors. But that's just because I told her I could see her through there if she got out of bed.

Reminded me of this.

I, for one, love getting dick pics.

My first thought was this until I read the fine print.. poor dudes

Ted Chaough = Ashley Wilkes.

So dogs are actually doing the Stations of the Cross when they sniff each other's butts?

I'm no gun expert, but aren't shotguns a really bad method of close-quarter defense?

Can we all just agree that calling someone "sassy" is tacitly offensive? It's the "bless your heart" of adjectives.

All this surveillance and ACME still can't find Carmen Sandiego?! I'm beginning to think she truly does not exist.

Eh, not worth it.

I can't wait for the day when she goes to a bar and some guy hits on her by bragging about being in the Special Forces. I think it would be hilarious.

I'm a guy, so let me say this: Rape jokes aren't funny.

Depends on two things. 1) What is the ice cream flavor? 2) What does Bradley's hair look like at the time?

I assume that when she said she was going to have him escorted out of here, she was referring to planet Earth.

Sex and the City 2.

I don't understand this article, and I won't respond to it.