In defense of DST...I had my first one night stand over the DST switch 2 years ago, and it meant 1 hour less of faking sleep while waiting for him to leave, so I'm pro.

Whoever you gave that to should get nothing but coal next year. Or should be visited by 3 ghosts. Or both. I don't understand that person at all.

I feel like this might be a good way to resolve one night situations that want to extend the arrangement past one night. Just send this website and suggest they practice first and they'll stop texting right quick :)

Sweater...because it showcases my "good" side and also white really washes me out.

Apparently you can buy happiness, and it costs $19.99.

I feel like owning this would be like when I got an Easy Bake Oven and realized that it takes like 8 hours to cook a tiny pan of brownies—when I want wine, I want it promptly. This thing is for people with more patience than me.

I'm not sure a violin really captures the gist of 12 Years a Slave...

Not necessarily. Is she in possession of a reindeer jumper?

Yeah ... My dad did that, too. That's how my mom found out. He was devastated the bitch had left him and wanted advice. Somehow they're still married.

You forgot one: Don't drive angry.

I'm systematically going through all the comments right now and liking anything that mentions McGriddles. McGriddles make early morning work flights out of the terminal with the McDonald's a joy instead of a curse.

I have never been dating someone on Valentines' Day and it's never bothered me until I realized that I had no one in my life to buy me this bear. Now it feels like a real loss.

A pie maker?? Is this a person or a gadget? Either way, where do i find one?

Jessica Brown Findlay would be a great spokeswoman for an education campaign on these new guidelines. "I've pretended, firsthand, what it's like to die in childbirth from eclampsia. Don't listen to Lord Grantham—trust your doctors and get screened for high blood pressure regularly, before, during, and after…

Every time he says the thing about not wanting to kiss too many women because he wants to set a good example for his daughter or not kissing Renee so her son won't get mad, I scream at the TV, "OR MAYBE DON'T LET CHILDREN WATCH THE BACHELOR BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE."

OK, cunnilingus references aside, they win for this:

Can Jezebel please offer $10k for the person or persons on the other end of that exchange to come forward and share the joke? I HAVE TO KNOW.

Vh1 ran the whole series nye to nyd and I've caught it once on a weekday evening since. It's the only reason I've ever watched vh1.

Just to be sure...one bottle per person watching with me at my house or per contestant? I wanna get this right.

I have never watched The Bachelor before, but this season I actually know one of the women—she lived across the hall from me freshman year of college and we hung out pretty often at the time, though not really at all after that. I have to watch, right? But, like, how much alcohol do I need to have on hand to get…