“Really?  That’s the biggest scarf you sell?! Have you checked the back?  Fine. Ring it up.”

Starter money is reserved for studs like Case Keenum and Ryan Tannehill.

You could have made up a couple names in there and I would not have questioned it. 

A friendly reminder that there’s a mobile, talented quarterback who’s sitting at home and could maybe actually help the Panthers keep looking something like a respectable, playoff team, and they’re gonna start Kyle Allen and probably Will Grier before him.

the 90-yarder is the best because Williams had the safety lined up per usual 20 yards back and Odell still ran by him like the safety was Gregg and Odell was a head coaching job

Can we root for them to be so bad that the 1972 Dolphins retroactively have their perfect season stripped so we never have to hear about it again?

“Whatever, haters, you’re just mad because he’s on the Patriots!”

Knock wood if you’re with me.

I’m almost in awe of the Patriots complete unwillingness to even gesture towards giving a fuck about caring about the severity of these allegations.

No worries, Miami’s elite defense should be able to contain him...

Like or hate Hillary Clinton; at least she was studied and competent and prepared. Biden is just a fucking joke and an insult. Huge difference.

Nobody: “Hillary please, but male this time, and with dementia.”

Gee, it’s almost like a lot of people in their late 70’s often suffer from a decline in their mental faculties which causes them to sound confused and forgetful and makes them poor candidates for almost any job where mental sharpness is a major factor.

Awesome!

And I looked back and saw only one set of footprints in the sand, and I asked God, “Why, when I needed you most, why did you abandon me?” God replied, “No, Antonio, it was then that I carried you. Because you cryogenically froze your fucking feet. This was one month ago! How do you not remember this?”

If steroids are what it took to kill that mustache dead, then it was all worth it.

Well, fuck. There goes all the Lou Marsh award suspense.

I haven’t been this proud to be Canadian since the 2016 US presidential election.

BRB, going through every article written about AB over the last two months and faving all the Steelers fans’ smug comments.

Huh. It’s almost like well-run organizations have no issuebringing in “problem” players... Maybe I could draw some conclusions about how shitty organizations are structurally incapable of handling these same players!