I've got a neighbor who is all into this. He's got a bunker with a ten year supply of canned goods, so he's ready. He even gave me a tour. While I was down there, I stole his can opener though.

This is much less depressing than the video of fans chanting "Steve Blake sucks," which was filmed while on a Southwest Airlines plane ride to Golden State.

Yankee Doodle: [sticks feather in cap]

Its like that time my weed dealer got arrested with 10 lbs of purple haze, told them I bought an ounce, and I got 5 years. He got paid 100 grand in cash by the police and walked away.

Unfortunately for me, I didn't tie Madoffs Mets.

Proud of you Jennifer. Don't listen to the assholes. This is how progress is made. Two steps forward, then a hesitant shuffle to the side, and then WHAM, three steps backwards through the air.

The problem is that no one should be able to tell you how to spend your compensation. You don't pay people with gift cards to your own store.

People who care about the TRUTH.

Back when I was an athlete in high school and college, I NEVER had sex the night before a competition. Sadly, neither did I the night after. Or the one after that. Or the one...

From Wikipedia

That's about the only way one of Jeter's girlfriends is seeing a diamond.

Please. Someone with as limited range as Scarlett Johansson should never be playing shortstop.

Does anyone have an exact date of when journalism died?

ERROR: WITHDRAWAL MUST BE IN MULTIPLES OF $50,000

Actually the rumors are linked. When Weeden learned they were bringing in a younger QB in Manning to the organization, he knew it was time for him to leave.

Re: Strip Club DJ. I worked security at a strip club for about a year in college, and one of my good friends was "head of security" at the same club for a few years after. This was probably the best club in a low rent town, so it was not disgusting but definitely not an "upscale" place you'd find in major cities. Our…

You see that he does this during NFL and MLB drafts but that he doesn't do it on NBA drafts. That's because he's too busy with his real job as GM of the Knicks.

Feel the rhythm... Feel the rhyme... Get on up... It's time to move to a new fucking hotel.

Can anyone explain to me what the hell the bottom right guy in the Sochi toilet rules graphic is doing?