Maybe try to not get a degree in drawing and you won’t have to deal with the bullshit of the industry. You say “the industry demands” like it “demands” that you participate in it. It doesn’t. You make that choice to participate.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

“Hi, I’m Joseph Mixon.”

I’m a liberal, and am I so dumb as to believe that the current House is responsible for the government taking 48% of every commission check I make as a salesperson? Uh, what?

Did you miss the part where I said that the real issue is with the solicitation of a 15-year-old, not the sex itself?

Not even human, am I right? Burn him! Burnnnnnnn him!

And the line has been drawn that marijuana possession can get you hard federal time if you mail it to your brother for his appetite during a round of chemo.

Uh, what?

Michael Floyd is a fucking moron, but these cops and their paternalistic tone can fuck right off.

Total fucking nonsense. Most burglaries happen during the day.

Wait, you’re worried about your child’s friends standing outside and stealing your wifi?

Okay, so... top 2?

I took the word of a (now famous) YouTuber because we were friends long before he started making money on his music. He offered $400 for a string of live dates in which I’d be his live guitarist or drummer. When we returned from a 1,000 mile flight, he told me he didn’t make as much money (after expenses) as he…

Well that was a mistake, huh?

That’s terrible. Who made you take that work?

That’s their fault, then. Don’t do work without a contract. Do you work without a contract, Cecilia? If not, why not?

This is why you’re not a pilot, dumbass.

Death Grips are a great, important band of this decade, but you probably don’t “get it” because you’re stuck in a nostalgia jerk-off session.

They took everything insufferable about The Black Keys and diluted it enough to get an interview on NPR. Good job! This is bad.

Are you shitting me? This is overproduced soccer-mom garbage. Did you just call this shit “great?”