It’s hard to chop wood when you live in a sub-divided lot in Capitol Hill. Hipster Amazon Dad needs to live efficiently.

“The 49ers won! What the hell is wrong with you guys?”

here’s a follow-up: suck my fucking dick you scrub

weird how I didn’t watch a single game yesterday

Absolutely not. The end of NBA and NCAA basketball games make me want to quit sports forever.

After seeing “touchdown, commercial, kickoff, commercial, play, time out, commercial,” I realized that my first NFL game would be my last this season. Fuck that shit.

Using “dope” in earnest makes you a hipster.

This is New Haven, right here. Young black kids on dirtbikes whipping up and down the street with bandannas over their faces. Cooler than I’ll ever be, and also terrifying.

Southern Decadence is when everyone stops what they’re doing and does coke for a week. Jordan is just getting wet like everyone else.

WHO ACTUALLY GIVES A FUCK

jesus christ zzzzzzzzzzzz

So when are you posting the jokes?

“Are you kidding me? I asked five of their players when they were on base. They all said it should have been a hit.”

Have you ever tried Binding of Isaac’s “The Lost” mode? If you take damage once, you lose. Do you think I want to spend hundreds of hours mastering it when I can (1) casually play the game, like a normal person and (2) be able to watch someone good enough to complete it, without having to sit through all of the…

Cascade is amazing. I recently took a trip to De Garde on the Oregon coast, and holy shit their wild sour beers make me weak in the knees.

Either she’s a liar, or Rose is an idiot monster rapist creep of the highest proportions.

So what? The guy was great at basketball for five years after that. He averaged 13.7 AST/48 and 10.6 TRB/48 in 2008, which is Magic Johnson-type shit.