Football. Baseball. Basketball. Soccer. Hockey. Norwegian Womens’ Curling. Maybe not that last one.

+1 visit to Dr. James Andrews.

Probably the hospital.

That’s right Clayton! Show him the heater!
-Jamie Moyer.

You don’t Kinja well.

As a socially awkward person, it’s entirely conceivable to me that he’s worried it might be insulting to pick up the check in that situation. It’s not, of course, but that’s how our weirdo minds work.

Worked for Elvin from the Cosby Show.

I had a rich friend for a while and still gobout sometimes with wealthier people than I. I never expect them to pay for my food just because they’re better off than I am.

Ha. I wouldn’t normally entertain this sort of thing but your handle deserves it: get lost dude. You suck.

WE... WE DIDN’T LISTEN!

That is the way I’ve always read Woods too. He’s made enough money for 10 lifetimes, so unless he’s convinced himself he can come back strong and beat Jack’s majors record, what is the point. I’d love to see him just disappear and randomly show up at driving ranges and courses at his leisure. Eff the media and anyone…

and that the seals are cheap bastards.

The check thing makes sense to me. He didn’t want to be liked for his money. That’s how I read that.

This is sad.

All it took to keep arguably the greatest athlete of this generation sane was some white trash pussy.

I think it’ll be fun to fuck with people on the internet by prefacing everything with “Millennials won’t remember but...” and just make shit up.

I look forward to this being, inevitably, ruined by a presidential campaign.

“Gonna get you paid right there!”

Two things I love about this:

I for one can’t wait to take my 40 year old out of shape ass to the club tonight to try this. I can’t think of anything that can go wrong. This is gonna be my best night since I learned how to Dougie. Look out ladies, here I come.