Next week’s op-ed:

Some are born into greatness, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them. Today, this young man achieved greatness.

Like, I just watched Sarah Huckabee Sanders talk and let me tell you, if that was poetry, it was some pretty fucked up high school English class poetry.

As the aunt of a baby who was born 7 weeks early and spent a month in the NICU...let it go, landscaping friend. It’s great that you did a nice thing for your friends, but frankly, if they even fucking noticed the landscaping at this point, it’s the last thing on their mind. They have to leave their teeny tiny,…

At this point, I’m moved more by the music swelling in the Luke/sunsets scene more than the rest of episode IV.

Quit crying and make one yourself.

Yes, and we’re not having another. And before you get started, I’m not the least bit interested in having this turn into a discussion where we judge each other’s parenting. I’m just stating what I did and why.

I remember the hell this woman got on Television Without Pity boards. Everyone called her Crying Pam. I miss TWOP. It was my second favorite waste of my employer’s time behind Gawker. God damn it I miss Gawker!