F IT I'LL RECOMMEND YOUR PEDANTRY ANYWAYS BECAUSE

Can somebody photoshop a purple kimono onto Klinsmann?

Prostitutes? I don't think he's gonna need to pay for anything tonight.

A wins a win. Who cares how ugly it was? Merica.

My aunt's neighbor wins $9500/week betting on American cynicism. It's true! Go here to learn more: gofuckyourself.com

MLF? Why does that name give me a boner?

Still too soon.

umm... the team currently leading group D is Costa Rica. I think we'd do ok against them.

Yep. We got torched by England and Italy the last time we played them in the World Cup.

Fuck outta here, Euroboy.

Being a soccer fan does not make one a hipster.

Man, I hated Tony Gwynn when I was a kid because he'd win the batting title every year and I wanted someone else to win it. I forget what year he won it on the last day of the season but I got pretty upset when it happened. I wish I had given him the respect that he deserved when he played, because that kind of…

Weasels are pretty cute unless they're Dan Snyder.

I love all you guys who call the Spurs "boring". No, really, I do. Here, have a smooch. On behalf of the (apparent) minority who prefer to watch basketball played as a team sport rather than as another all-star-weekend-dunk-contest, I find the Spurs the exact opposite of boring.

"I think everybody's gonna come back," Tony Parker said. Team chairman Peter Holt went a step further: "Tim and Manu are going to play until they die, so I think we are in pretty good shape."

I used to hate the Spurs; old, boring style of play, and they always won with it. While they still win a ton, they are much crisper, faster and entertaining than before. They laid a Masters-level class in proper basketball on the Heat.

I like how he implies that soccer is too long while praising football, which has games that are objectively, unquestionably longer than soccer.

Needs Ghost 'n' Goblins!!! I never beat the first level as a kid and I must try it when I get home!