X Gon’ Give it To Ya.

Kid is clearly poor, system working as designed. 

HIS SON. His own son.

This kid is suffering from a bad case of Backpfeifengesicht 

Does Kellyanne emerge out of her crypt every day with the thought “Today is the day that everyone will finally be convinced by the bullshit I’m spewing.”?

(The Witch Hunt) in time likely will become recognized as the greatest scandal in American political history

That last one sounds like a fun way to spend the afternoon…

My platform for my 2020 campaign is now officially as follows:

First he was a replacement caddy

Driven monthly.  Period.

Redacted schmeeschmacted. I’m sorry to see your meeting with Donald Trump Jr. wasn’t more productive. Don’t worry, you’ll find that Russian pee tape. You just have to dig DEEPER.

Thank goodness things are changing on this front too. Standing against Israel’s treatement of the palestinian people has nothing to do with anti-semitism - it’s basic humanism. Israel is blocking any and every way Palestinians find to sustain themselves under the disguise of combatting terrorism, but really it’s…

Nicely said, but the sane and intelligent already get it, and you’ll never convince the morons that they’re wrong. 

It’s amazing how people have already forgotten Trump said he won’t exercise because he believes it shortens your life, draining the finite energy your body has, and once that’s used up, you die. He said it nearly a year into his presidency and it was a giant red flag warning that he had some kind of mental disability.

Is Jalopnik, like, contractually obligated to attach “Holy-Grail” to every description of this engine?

Huh...thought he already had a human centipede. AKA his Cabinet.

• If you have small children with you, protect them by picking them up so they won’t panic and run.

Even better:

He’s from the HOOD, yo. Let’s call him Vanilla Ice(d) Macchiato.

what’re the odds that pic is the first time trump has ever used a shovel?