Splinter: Yas Kween’s all over Rashida Tlaib’s face for calling Drumpf a “Motherfucker”.

you try keeping down a St. Louis style pizza

Could be for securing a baby seat. Assuming you are bringing baby with you and not sending it with the au pair in cattle class with the rest of the luggage. Rich people are like that.

Yeah I was in a similar situation once... in Mario Kart 8. I got the ink-splat on Rainbow Road. Consequences maybe not quite as high, but it was a real nail-biter for me.

The Last (night’s) Supper

Trump’s takes on the upcoming election,

Somebody in Philadelphia has a problem with the color orange? I know a guy.

Ted’ds beard makes his head look like an under-watered chia pet left too long in direct sunlight.

“This” is a weird spelling of Ivanka.

arrr ‘tis true, the sight of gold drives many a Pirate mad

by telling the guy arguing “we cannot improve healthcare for all americans, in a way every other first world country already has, because that might negatively impact my vast wealth” to fuck off, op

AND I’D SURELY STAND UP! NEXT TO YOU AND SAVE ON MY NEXT RENTAL.

You buried the lede: there actually is an ESPN “the Cinco”?

It was natural until he got hip-checked, man. You fucked up in that you listened to Jeff Van Gundy and decided to run with it.

Drake vs the Warriors is the hottest cornball action since

Wait until he learns the there’s a NEW Mexico!

In what universe is “I must fuck Chris Kattan” a condition for getting a movie made?

The real problem here is, once someone like Hannity (or Trump) has said it, no matter how often they or anyone else goes back on it, the lie will be repeated ad infinitum. Just ask someone on the right about this now: they’ll tell you Trump never tried to fire him and the NY Times lied. Or ask someone on the right…