Why does Steph want to give Lebron the Run-A-Round? It seems like a sure fire way to speed things up, but all it does is slow him down.

What percentage of people masturbate for the last time realizing they are doing so?

These are the worst John Lennon parody lyrics ever.

Tabling your condescension, because I don’t really care who likes and doesn’t like basketball, it is absolutely not a fun sport for little kids. Those fuckers can barely hit the rim with the ball, because half of the time they play with a 10 foot rim (seeing that some reasonable people are lowering the rim in recent…

(a dejected Houston Texans GM loads $10 million in a wheelbarrow to burn in a barrel fire) (looks through his desk for charcoal lighter/matches)

Too bad Dan Patrick wasn’t interviewing Magic Johnson.

Something like this...

John Daly is Fucked Up Again, Enters Tournament

Don’t wake up, you’ll be in Atlanta.

I don’t understand all the hate. The Rams have been so bad, St. Louis should thank LA for taking Demoff their hands.

It’s all a beauty pageant, and Washington is a little Husky.

It must be heartbreaking, knowing that your father doesn’t really want to have sex with you.

Mr. Trump, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God…

Trump is like:

Horniest team? The Swiss, you idiot.