Them's FIGHTIN' WORDS, Pinkham!

Until the oil money runs out.

Step 1.5: Put wider wheels and racing slicks on Hellcat

My only complaint about carmakers is their desire to get your phone to synchronize to the car. My contacts do not need to be programmed to the car. Especially in a goddamn rental. When I want to call someone, I'll grab the phone, scroll to that contact and initiate the call from the phone.

See, that's the thing - the premium leases never gamed out for me in the long run. You get the privilege of driving a new car, but you pay for it - to the tune of 40 to 50% of the vehicle's value. (when you add up the down and monthly payments) Then you return the car to the dealer and walk home. Or sign a new…

Sure - except for that last one. Every lease I've seen pegged the car at 10,000 miles a year. If you have a long daily commute, you'll kill that in no time.

Buying a new car every year to ensure compatibility with your newest smartphone is this generation's version of "keeping up with the Joneses". I almost bought a Volvo ten years ago because I wanted iPod integration and Acura didn't offer anything for the 05 TL. I ended up getting one of these.

Portion control, dude.

Also, they're fantastic for outdoor NFL games in northern climates.

You just haven't found the right whiskey.

Malaprops and brainfarts happen to all of us. Pasta doesn't have a season, but clams do. Asking if a seafood is in season is normal - especially during the summer. Customers can be stupid, but I'd cut this one a little slack.

I've worked with a few dictation programs like ViaVoice and Dragon NaturallySpeaking for clients. They actually work quite well. Even Google Now does a good job with context. Just freakin' READ before you post.

I'm willing to cut a little slack on homophones these days. A lot of writers use dictation software to compose their work. There doesn't mean they shouldn't stop and read what they've dictated before they click "Publish".

Cliche, but power is nothing without control. The tires on the hellcat are narrow for reasons I'm guessing are intentional - to allow the owners to showboat their massive torque muscles when they're out cruising. Of course, this leads to hilarious videos on youtube instructing people with more money than sense on…

If this is a common reason for premature battery pack failure, this would seem to be a lucrative business opportunity for independent repair shops. A $500 deposit isn't much to ask for a few hours of testing and a bit of labor. If it turns out a new battery pack is required, they can apply the money toward the…

Agreed. Using a sign to disclose to the public that the restaurant staff has the option to wash their hands requires exactly the same effort as using a sign to remind the staff that they're required to wash their hands. The signs are everywhere. I'm sure we can count on restaurant employees to wash their hands most…

Interesting question. I just got back from South Beach, Miami and on our last day we had breakfast at one of the hotels on Ocean drive. They served a brunch buffet for like $12. The hostess seated us. The waiter explained our options and brought us water. We did the buffet. The coffee service was at the buffet…

I worked a condominium hotel in Colorado. One of those places where you buy a property and, when you're not using it, rent it out to vacationing families. It's a great business concept and, if you buy at the right price, can garner some nice side income for the owner. One of the early owners was an obvious child of…

I saw the politician in question. He was being facetious. What he said was that if there was no policy regarding hand washing, there should be a sign stating such and allow market forces to work their magic. The sign is a security blanket for customers. You'll never know for sure if staff wash their hands and if…

The strap is a latch release. If you pull the strap to close the door, the door won't catch.