Internalize and secretly massage Norm’s advice into the strategy. And also, it’s a rite of passage and ultimate decider of who among us married gents get infused with zenlike patience or volcanic rage. Or both. Good luck fella.

Wait wait wait...you think, after the wedding, you stop getting in trouble for having your own opinions, or sharing her opinion? You are ADORABLE.

The Chargers would kill for attendance like that!

That’s funny, I’ve always called it the Gruden Gape.

Is that what you call helmet-to-helmet contact?

He’s now a baseball coach:

I wanna see you sticking your hands up these guys asses and workin’ ‘em like a fuckin’ puppet!

Note to NFLShop.com: We found that one Bengals office chair you sold.

Yeah only on planet FUCK THIS WEED IS STRONG is Litter Caesar’s a preferred dinner choice over Pizza Hut.

Hungry Howies, Jet’s, and Marco’s are all real, and are all significantly better than any of the places on the list.

Whomever voted for CiCi’s should be, well, forced to eat at Cici’s.

My go-to rebound scream was always “WHY AM I IN ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP?!”

Dan Fouts yells “HE’S BEHIND YOU!!!!” when watching a horror movie in the theater.

RETREAT MODE

Surely there are easier ways to avoid playing for the Nets this year?

That has to be the greatest prank of all time.

Be careful with those graphics though...

Let’s hope he keeps his nose clean. He’d be the most dangerous man in prison with his history of shanking.

I don’t know why I love this so much, but I do. I love this so much.

Having the sick impulse to call the cops, from the site of one of the worst flood disasters in American history, to report victims of that flood for looting a supermarket; but also: a crime