It’s hard enough having Donny Two Scoops in charge of major political decisions and wielding enormous power to wreak destruction on the planet, but there is something especially disturbing (I know, it’s all especially disturbing, but just roll with it) about routine government functions being subject to the whims of…

I hope this means we won’t have to hear “It’s time to bring the action!” at the beginning of every race.

As others have pointed out to me, it appears ESPN is going to just use the World Feed and not dedicate a commentary crew for the broadcast.  

Guess I’ll be looking forward to watching some races on ESPN 8 - “El Ocho”.

It’s really fucked up and irresponsible to make false accusations like that. Let alone so publicly. He killed two dudes. Shame on you.

The only statue in Baltimore that could use more protection is Joe Flacco.

White people: Fighting to remove statues of minorities who offended their flag and anthem, yet also fighting to uphold the statues of men who fought to destroy the flag and anthem. Oh and child molester enablers. They want statues of child molester enablers to stick around too.

You forgot to add in where cops nationwide defend this while they get all sanctimonious about how they’re the thin blue line and no one can possibly understand the stress the job puts them through, so people need to cut them some slack when they gun down a deaf man with a metal cane.

Go up to man with stick. Claim you’re scared of stick. Kill man. Enjoy paid vacation. Claim murdered man was “no angel”. Collect extra overtime quelling the protests after you’re cleared of any wrong doing.

Yeah. But it gets even worse than that. I’m not sure Kermit is even really playing that banjo!

God, I wish the follow-up had been, “do you consider yourself a domestic violence expert?”

$34M last year for this, people. There are doubtless several million people in this country who could do a far superior job, and most would happily do so for <1% of his salary, but sadly their daddies weren’t U.S. senators. Yeah, the NFL is “always about meritocracy”, alright. Get fucked, you born-on-third-base…

+ numbah one

FBI: Hello, Federal Bureau of Investigation hotline. Your call may be recorded for quality insurance and may be used as evidence. How can I help you?

We just watched the moment in which that other kid turned into a super villain.

Go directly to hell, you absolute nightmare of a person.

There is a guy with 2 of those things here in Madison. And they’re both jacked up... I kinda want to give him a medal.

“Mikey... Mikey... we never told you that you were adopted. We figured you knew... You’re a 50-year-old man. This never dawned on you?”

That’s 2017 for you. You assume the weirdest news you’re going to get out of Brazilian soccer is a convicted murderer being signed to a new contract, and then next thing you know you get some guy trying to test out Ehrlich’s maximum optimal jerk-off theories from Silicon Valley in the locker room shower.

Agreed. This was Peak Terry.