That’s an awfully slow response time by Milwaukee police.

That’s the kind I prefer, too.

Jesus. I’m talking about Jesus.

Jose Bautista is subject of one of my all time favorite Onion articles (graphics?)

I’m glad I hung in there for this one.

Rodgers only wants his front office to be responsible. They probably knew how much Nelson would cost against the cap. But it wouldn’t hurt to discount double check.

A spokesman for the family said: “In this difficulty time, the Kardashians ask everyone to please respect their need for attention.”

He should have stuck with fencing.

I have this condition where small paychecks lead to emotional anxiety and mental anguish. Maybe I should sue my employer?

Forbidden snack...

So this guy was training to be a nurse and dropped out to be a video game nurse? Huh.

“Am I ‘proud’ of the game? I don’t know what that means. There’s something very egotistical about being proud of something. ‘Proud’ sort of implies that you believe that it reinforces your intrinsic value as a person.”

Hannah is definitely one of those people who wants Huck Finn removed from libraries due to the accurate period language used in it.

and not even a good job; he let his teammates get killed

he gave a performance that will go down in the quickbooks.

I have no idea who any of these people are.

That was the most obvious sarcasm I have ever seen.

Allow me to un-eumphemise your thoughts on the issue:

I blame the safety driver.

Surely the NRA will step up and defend this young man’s constitutional right to bear arms! Right?

How many times did he have to bean it in the head to kill the bull?