He’s got a lot of volunteers to help him pack.

I haven’t the first clue what you’re talking about young man

I wonder if the birds are subject to carrion regulations?

You are so dumb.

*PENIS SOMEHOW ELECTED PRESIDENT

It’s like the story about the brewery worker who drowned in a vat of beer. The grieving widow asks “Did he suffer long?” and the guy’s co-worker says “No, actually he got out twice to go to the bathroom.”

This is obviously nonsense. The Astros are an American League team, so they couldn’t have met in the World Series. Also, there’s no way “Dustin Hermanson” is a real name.

I thought Lauer looked great

So I think we should have a debate with no moderator.

If anyone can speak for how all this senseless shooting has affected him, it’s DeAngelo Russell.

Nah, it’s Pittsburgh. Worst case scenario, that ball hits Josh Scobee’s water-logged corpse.