Calm down, Megyn Kelly.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders is actually Sarah Palin, Mike Huckabee, and Bernie Sanders standing on each other’s shoulders and wearing long trench coats to appear to be just one person.

Where were all of you Toys R Us apologists when the far superior Child World met its fate? Hmm?

Kay Bee Toys: When you looked at toys at other stores and thought, “yes, but can I pay more?”

I think Charmin Sandiego is a better name than The Mad Pooper.

I’m more interested in the thing he didn’t want you to see. It’s easy enough to find on Google Earth. Isn’t it just a water tower?

You tell that son of a bitch Arn Anderson he had better be a fucking pallbearer at Mr. Heenan’s funeral so he cal let him down one last time.

My other thought is: poor Gorilla. He had 17 years of relative peace, and wherever he is he surely has to break “WILL YOU STOP” out of mothballs.

#25 on the Bengals ended the game with a better passer rating than Andy Dalton because of that last play

Hey Darryl Strawberry, cocaine is a hell’va drug !!!

Yeah, who can handle that much Cologne?

Ambiguity is as American as Racism is as American as Baseball

So the Red Sox are still stealing signs then?

Is she related to Barry Sanders? Cuz she knows how to spin the fuck out of any troubling situation.

While she’s entitled to her opinion, it’s safe to say I don’t see eye to eyes with Miss Sanders.

Since the 1970s, and moreso now than ever before, Dan Rather is the most important journalist in America. He is the voice we need.

Nice work, Tom. That was a savage takedown.

And to think, you still had a better night than Ted Cruz.

Good Kinja:

Her love kills, just ask Michael Clark Duncan.