Well he has TEXAS internet. It’s similar to China internet or North Korea internet.

Your user name makes me moist. Male moist. But still.

The presidential bedroom?

No. Sadly.

Yeah it’s terrible. I try to tell myself it’s better than being homeless

Whaaaaaaaaat am I seeing?

So I’m kinda at the point where I hate everything.

I’ve been hurt before, Rob.

Ditto. I’ve got a big, cheap, strong bottle of red wine and look forward to making a complete ass of myself. Happy New Year!

REVELATION REVELATION REVELATION!

I always sing “don’t let your son go down on me” and then get hit by my wife.

I’m just being shitty because I had to leave Portland with my tail between my legs. Alas.

I’m currently trapped in Shitskiyou county but hoping to make a move further south next year. It’s too cold, red, and stupid up here.

I haven’t felt it for four years now. I’m hoping having two kids of gift-giving age will help. We shall see.

Or Neil Gaiman (j/k j/k)

What a cuck!

Some asshole shot up the mall I work at two weeks before Christmas in 2012. It’s pretty much wrecked my Christmas spirit since.

KU Klux Klan. Not KLU Klux Klan. C’mon now...

Missed opportunity for e-jeah-culated. But otherwise perfect.

My friend and I almost ran him down in a Boston crosswalk in 2003. He just looked at us drunkenly and kept walking.