Scouting report: Possesses the rare combination of being a zero-tool guy, while also being a tool.

I don’t know, wouldn’t a more apt analogy be your dad intentionally sitting on his nutsack because he thinks he’s somehow outsmarting his dick or his taint or something?

It’s no goddamn joke, on a hot day I’m more nervous than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

As he gets older, my dad tells me horror stories of accidentally sitting on his nutsack. The Kings are my dad every fucking draft.

No less for a substance that’s never been accused of being a physical performance enhancer or something that gives an unfair advantage otherwise.

He’s person; not a robot. I don’t think any free agent on the market today or in the future would ever want to go to San Antonio if they know the organization treats its players that way.

...and when he works (and presumably lives) in a state where the recreational consumption of said substance is legal.

Looks like his career is going...in a negative direction based on a punishment for a substance that does less harm to lives and bodies than the opioids that are routinely prescribed for pain.

Other than him slowing down under the crushing weight of carrying that sad-sack Cavs team to the finals by himself, I still see no signs of decline for Lebron.

Florida in the summer means 100 degrees with 100% humidity and all the tourists are gone so all that’s left is 100% Florida Man.

In a separate, but unrelated report, Kevin Durant is now said to be interested in LA as well

Does that offer include great terms on a reverse mortgage?

If you think San Antonio wants anything to do with Lonzo Ball, I have a timeshare in San Antonio to sell you at a once-in-a-lifetime price.

At this point, I genuinely don’t know what it’ll take for Pruitt to resign

I need to see what years of corn dogs and lack of HGH have done to Big Country

Who cares what Mike Bibby looks like? What Vancouver wants to know is what does Bryant ‘Big Country’ Reeves look like nowadays.

I don’t think he’s skipping leg day; I think he’s just climbing into the machines upside down.

He looks like he talks to schools as part of a “scared straight” program

When I read the headline I was hoping for this:

If you don’t love me at my