Sorry everyone. I went through 7 (YES, SEVEN) whole pages of Perez Hilton's website combing for possible answers, and nothing fits.

"It's for a more mature woman. For example, Bix is 17. Positively middle-aged."

In a vein similar to Kate's: When I was old enough to stop going to my family's yearly camping trip.

For me, it was three weeks ago when I said fuck it, I need a positive change in my life. My mental health was damaged, and people were dragging me down.

My ex thought yoga pants were called yogurt pants. This made sense to him because apparently I eat alot of yogurt while wearing pants with an elastic waistband. No zippers FTW.

Yeah, I don't think this is the time...

Pfftt, hairy greased-up ass or GTFO. #notmyasswars

This is the first time I have ever been genuinely curious as to who the d-bag was. Any guesses?

OH MY GOD. This guy is irritating me so much.

Yeah, that federal shit would have to be returned. They don't get to keep that.

Conceiving a child out of wedlock, falling asleep during meetings, cold and distant to his kids, repeating movie plotlines as though they had actually happened...

I would. I'm a NC native - a state that is about 50/50 conservative and progressive. Please do not throw us out of the union. We're trying to do better.

I was just waiting for someone else to say it, because I didn't want to be the first. So, thank you.

Between you and ME, not I.