I would rather shove a finger up my C*nt than go out on a date.

So uh.... I’m a woman and I love my cargo shorts. I think they’re cute on me. Why can’t dudes wear them too?

Hoses attached to the hydrants...

Especially if there’s a saddle. You can grab onto the horn (if it’s a western saddle) or pommel if it’s English. It’s even easier than bareback, in which case you can only grab mane (plus horse hair is more slippery than a leather or synthetic saddle)

1. If you’re being bounced out of your bra while riding horses, as some commenters have suggested, you have two problems. 1- your bra doesn’t fit. Find a new one. 2 - You don’t have a good enough seat to do whatever riding activity you’re doing. Go back to basics and learn to sit each gait.

He is rather hollow-backed....

You don’t need stirrups to get on a horse :P

Well apparently I’m not going to be playing Pokemon Go unless I drive 20+ min away...

Now THAT is true.

....as security guards, not as police officers. They were “at work” yes, but they were not working as policemen. They were hired as guards.

They weren’t on duty.

Maybe if you’re turning your hair into an old white dude’s powdered wig you’ll have a problem.

You’re assuming I have the time to work on one (free time would be great!), or a garage (most apartments won’t let you do work in their parking lot), or the skill or inclination (not all car people want to play mechanic.)

If I had extra money to throw at cars, I would totally get a Smart car just to park it in tiny little spaces, or perpendicular park in parallel parking spaces, or squeeze right next the driver’s side door of the Expedition at work that’s always taking up two spaces at the front of the parking lot. Fuck you, Expedition…

My dinky little foreign car was free. Now, I keep it because it’s reliable and cheap to keep. You can judge all you want, but no matter what you think you’re probably off the mark. I like cars. But I also like not drowning in debt just because I’m too proud to drive a Matrix.

Yeah. That’s why the only redeeming thing about this article was the point of asking why they have the car. I have a beat up Toyota Matrix... but it was free. And I realize that it’s not an exciting car, but it’s ridiculously reliable, cheap to repair/maintain, and can take a beating. I got hit by a truck and came…

I thought so. I always call my male friends “my boys.”

Eh. If you were to report this in Philly, I don’t think they’d take any action either. To get the cops to do anything in Philly there has to be a gun involved.

To be honest, I didn’t even pick up on it. I’m filing this one under “ehhhhh.”

Unless that’s exactly the way Trump wants it. I’m pretty sure Trump wants reporters all to himself.