4 pizzas where I live!* Plus a complimentary liter of soda and probably a side.

Did you get one of their frequent—buyer loyalty cards yet?!

I'm atheist and always have been, but in middle school and part of high school I was friends with this hardcore fundamentalist Christian girl. One day we were out for a walk and she turns to me and says, totally serious, "I feel really bad for all those poor starving African kids who die really young, because they…

You just know these guys would be all "I had a baby" if the pregnancy was carried to term, too. Not "we had a baby" but "I did. I had it."

I would really love for this to be true. Except that if it were, he'd probably already be dead.

I noticed a neck crease on myself the other day. I dubbed it "netflix neck" due to the insane amount of netflix I've been watching while unemployed.

It's true! 50% when I say I'm a vegetarian, someone will say, "oh, okay. No meat. What about chicken, though?"

The last part of it seemed so made-up and fake. I don't think the exchange actually went down like that.

Throughout all my teenage years I told myself that my acne would go away once I wasn't a teenager anymore. Then it was, "well, I'm still close to being a teen, so just give it a little more time and I'll grow out of it."

A little while ago, my vet saw a pet parakeet that needed surgery. Unfortunately it died on the table (it was pretty far gone- he specializes in birds but I guess Tweety was just too sick) and the little girl who owned the bird was bawling her eyes out. Some lady in the waiting room kept making fun of the little girl,…

I was mildly okay with this until I read that it was a service dog. If the dog opted to just lie there because they didn't care (e.g. my dog, always) that's one thing, but it's a service dog. It's trained to put up with everything and anything, it hardly has a choice. Even if it wanted to get up and shake the kid off,…

I am also curious.

Yup. I can't even tell you how many times I've said I don't eat meat just for someone to sincerely as "but what about chicken?"

I did too! I thought it was an odd premise, but was very intrigued nonetheless.

My parents didn't care about nudity or anything like that. I do remember my mom rushing to cover up the screen when I came downstairs in the middle of the night, but that was because she was watching a war movie with lots of blood and guts and she didn't want me to have nightmares.

Actually I was once told that nope, this dish has no meat in it at all and definitely no shellfish. Definitely. None.

Honestly? I kind of really feel for the soy-shrimp lady. I have a really really severe allergy to shellfish and I always avoid shellfish-lookalikes or imitation crab, etc., because I'm always afraid that they'll be flavored with real shellfish or something like that,

I am so sick and tired of commenters saying it's so traumatic and cruel to return a present. It's not. It would be cruel if the kid saved up for a wii himself and then the mom returned it after he bought it... but guess what, the parent's money is THEIR money. They bought it, they own it, they decide what happens with…

I like socks. They're something I always need.