I love my (perennially broken) 1999 Saab 9-5 wagon. I am also an ASE Master Tech. Coincidence? Not really.

This is why I shouldn’t read articles about the Academy Awards. This took me back to the 88th, when Leo got his “make up” Oscar that should have gone to Michael B. Jordan (who wasn’t even nominated). And they gave the Best Picture and Best Director awards to films not named Mad Max: Fury Road.

The Academy sucks.

The only problem with the Aztek (well, other than period GM build quality) was that it lived and died at least a decade too early. It is the unloved progenitor of the USA’s favourite type of vehicle.

Speaking as a ASE Master Tech with over 20 years of experience, I would hope one of the questions you want to ask is, “What the eff were you thinking?”

 Those of us who do care can only take so much of that before we agree with you that it is hopeless and give up and that sucks for everyone.

I remember the first time I encountered a Mercedes W100; just sitting in the back of it made me feel like I was cosplaying as Idi Amin.

And then I found out there was a LWB version.

Nobody does automotive intimidation like ze Germans.

Of the two, I have far more seat time in XK 120/140/150 cars than in F-Types. And I find them both awful, for different reasons.

The F-Type rides worse than its progenitor. Which is incredible, as the 120/140/150 are far from plush. The older car sounds better. Nothing like SU carbs and a mostly unfettered exhaust from…

NP, because I had one 15 years ago and got the bug to replace it recently. And ones this clean cost this much.

Looking at the animal trophies and piles of gun cases on the wall shelves, it’s a walk-in safe.

Torsion-Level used two pairs of fore-and-aft torsion bars, each pair consisting of a long and short bar parallel to each other, that served to transmit suspension shocks to the other wheel on each side. The shorter bars were connected to an electric motor via a linkage that served as an automatic load-leveling system.…

The only problem with this being a cliffhanger ending is we already know you didn’t die. Takes some of the mystery out of things.

I always love the trolls who post on my comments here. “White guilt makes you stupid.” Really? White guilt? What part of “I’m the king of the fucking world” was unclear? If the shit that people who have cause to complain say doesn’t bother me, you think your weak sauce will?

I have been lucky enough to have been born a…

Jokes aside, Torsion-Level was an impressive suspension technology given the limits of 1950s materials science and electronics. Back in the early 90s, I looked at buying a ‘55 Patrician with Torsion-Level suspension. My father (probably wisely) thought it was too much for my nascent mechanical skills and talked me out…

I am a white, middle-aged male. And I don’t give a flying fart in a hurricane what you want to call wypipo. You know why?

BECAUSE I AM A WHITE, MIDDLE-AGED MALE. The system is set up to keep me on top. I don’t fucking have to care what people call me. In an ideal world, everyone regardless of gender or the made-up shit…

929 had them as well.

I know someone who has an XJR-9. Sort of.

What he has is a pre-production XJR-15 that was Tom Walkinshaw’s personal car. That specific car’s chassis was a race-used XJR-9 unit that was modified and converted to XJR-15 spec. Very impressive car.

Slightly more than 25 years ago, I was a college student in Galveston, Texas. My hometown is Charleston, SC. I had taken my 1978 MGB to college with me and, as these things do, it blew a head gasket. Luckily, it was almost winter break.

On my winter break, I hung out at a local import shop I knew and built a…

So, is spell-check against the Klan Kode, or something?

Those photos are terrible. Who takes pictures of a black car against black?

I refuse to buy an Audi until they can make a car reliable past 80k miles.