Thank you for this. I’ve been seeing so much of what strikes me as “educated eating disorders” like this lately, and it’s driving me crazy. I was anorexic for 17 years, and listening to people obsessively discuss their voluntary diet restrictions brings those unhealthy thoughts too close for comfort. Just because you…

I used to be a casting assistant, while at the same time going on auditions for these kinds of parts. (We don’t all book enough to avoid a day job.) I aged out of the Potential Mermaid category years ago, but this totally checks out. One minor correction: if the door-slamming fuckwit was fired by the production…

Fun fact: Million Moms are such idiots that they let you edit the text of their mass emails. So I’m on their mailing list - I like to change the subject line to “Go, You!” and the body to say something like “What you’re doing sounds fabulous, MM are idiots & there’s actually only 6 of them.”

I <3 you, Jerry. Never, ever stop.

Don’t forget all the iconography, like the Obelisks they seem to like so much in Rome. “Hey - it’s stolen AND it’s from people who don’t even believe in our god. Let’s display ‘em ALL OVER THE PLACE! Because Jesus!!”

My cousin does this, but instead of making it seem like she’s giving you a “gift”, she just leaves stuff she doesn’t want in people’s houses. She calls it tchotch-dropping. I search the whole house after she leaves - it’s hilarious. And yes, I’m plotting how to do it back to her.

NEVER GET INTO A LAND WAR IN WEASTASIA!

I can vouch for the dress code! I was invited once, and because I got a +1 I brought a date. I neglected to mention the dress code, so said date wore a sport coat over jeans. They would. not. let. him. in. unless he put on their “loaner suit” (?) ... many years later, my date & I are married, and I refer to that night…

God bless you, Jerry, and your seemingly boundless knowledge of all things Hollywood. I enjoy the hell out of your comments.

I knew! My mom LOVED Gilda, so I do too :)

And they ARGUE with you when you answer honestly, “No, we’re just having the one.” I’m not deciding this via committee, and you don’t get a fucking vote.

Didn’t they suspect one of the guys from Massive Attack for a while?

My dad shared how relieved he was that Trump was elected, and then passed away the day after 45 was inaugurated. I have so much incoherent rage with no possibility of ever resolving itself...

My son just turned 5. The faintest suggestion of this is just ... his pre-school teachers made kids who misbehaved APOLOGIZE, and sometimes sit quietly until they calmed down. What the ever-loving fuck is this world???

Oregon passed a law that any business at the airport, that also has a non-airport location, must charge the same price at both locations. It’s kind of brilliant. Except for those Hudson News fuckers - I’ve never seen one outside an airport terminal, so I guess they got off on a technicality?

Tell that to my friend who named her dog “Isis” after the Egyptian goddess ...

That guy is the Korea expert who’s kids spectacularly interrupted his BBC interview. Which is germane to nothing, but gives me an excuse to post a link to one of my favorite videos EVER:

One of the Fug Girls mentioned in her coverage of the wedding that Meghan may have lost some weight in the final week, due to all of the family fuckery playing out in in the tabloids. That seems very possible to me.

I think it’s “No Reservations”? From 3-ish years ago.

She’s in an episode of Bourdain’s show that took place in Rome. You can literally watch him fall in love with her, and vice-versa.