I’d recommend the Clippers. They’re scrappy and weird and somehow kept winning games even after they were gutted mid-season. Shit, they took as many games off the Warriors in the playoffs as Houston did.

The Mets do not currently have dicks, therefore your argument is invalid

“He .... has been wearing a soft cast.”

To be fair to Hirsch, he did this back in 2015, when we didn’t know it was wrong to choke a woman out at a party and never apologize for it. Is it fair to judge historical figures by present-day standards?

And the dead bodies left over from previous games that the Marlins just never bothered to have removed.

McIlroy also had a fan ejected for repeatedly shouting “Erica,” his wife’s name.

The count is 3 and 2. And here comes the pitch...CRACK! Thats a spicy meatball!!!

Things that will be said in the Verlander bedroom tonight: “BJ, Upton.”

I bet if Puerto Rico announced they were seceding to Cuba or the EU, we’d have 50,000 troops there before you could blink.

Because it’s called “the scorpion” and seems right up Qyburn’s alley.

Agreed. Besides, tennis players are better equipped than most to tell whether or not something crossed the line.

If I saw that goddamned bear looking through my door I’d be making brownies too.

That’ll get you a handy from Huckabee but no eye contact or “gay stuff”.

As if his hands could wrap all the way around a baby’s neck.

Because MLB teams now have astronomical deductibles under ACA?

“Hi! It looks like you’re trying to run an A-2 Gap Slant? Would you like help running an A-2 Gap Slant?”

Seems fitting that the Red Sox and Cubs will be meeting in the World Series just as the Trump apocalypse ends the planet

Ha, jokes on you Trump, you’ll never figure me out. I only weigh 399 lbs! And I’m sitting on a couch! pwned.

I can not tell you how much Temecula’s stock just went up in my mind that it doesn’t have a Whole Foods.

Anyone notice that they did not deny that Woody fucked the turtle in the shower? Hmmm.