If he won't, I will.

If Radiohead tells Moore, Waters, et al. to go screw themselves, I swear I shall buy one of their albums.

Interesting: I'd always assumed that the only place where most people liked Billy Joel was the greater NYC area.

Much virtue in "if."

We have spent five millennia of human civilization inventing and perfecting things that would keep us from having to spend time around nature. Ooh-ing and aah-ing over these documentaries feels like a betrayal of all their hard work.

If you have time in Flagstaff, and if it's up your alley, I'd give the Lowell Observatory a visit.

Yeah, well, it's not brutal, you know … Bog Corpse isn't brutal.

I envy you. Spent a whole day there, but didn't get very far past Mesopotamia and Egypt. Something for next time, I guess.

If I'm a colonist, I'll smile as broadly as I need to, all the while figuring out how to genocide the current proprietors of the planet in the most painful, lingering way imaginable, and without a nanosecond's sleep lost over it.

What Stryker said. But also: Oswalt's a public figure. And the horrible truth is, public figures sometimes have to discuss personal and painful things publicly, if only to keep bottomfeeding gossips from spinning narratives for them.

Something else historically significant about The Matrix: it almost single-handedly turned DVDs from a high-end toy for early adopters into the absolute household default. The VCR was on borrowed time by '99 regardless, but The Matrix seemed to trigger a mass realization that videotapes weren't adequate to the movies…

Whoever or whatever you are, you've got a right to be irritated if Joey Lauren Adams represents you on screen.

So … Overwatch LARPING, without the entertaining characters or tactics.

You had me at "Union soldier gets mutilated and terrorized."

The story was one of Borges's favorites (not so surprisingly), and it figured heavily in a famous lecture he gave on Hawthorne.

The Hawthorne story this is based on is amazing—a sort of proto-Kafka. But it's tough to see how a present-day movie adaptation could really communicate the original's weird, unique brand of metaphysical nausea.

ADMIRALTY FLAG WAUUGGGHHHHH

I think it's possible to give a good Hatesong interview, in a way that manages to be insightful and charitable, and to give it in a way that doesn't end up indulging the interviewee's nastiest, smallest self. But it appears that not just anyone can manage that much, which makes the feature an interesting test of…

It's really something! I've also cut to the chase by titling it "Plaintiff Evidence, Ex. A."

Look, I can entertain unrealistic, mildly pathetic thoughts about two actresses at once.