***sad duckface***

I don’t want to be that other guy, but if you don’t watch all of the first six seasons of The Big Bang Theory, you’re really not giving it a fair shake.

I’m entirely aware that’s an unfair analogy, but my point is that you shouldn’t have to pay a substantial penance before entertainment actually becomes entertaining.…

All those two letter writers are interchangeable. Same thing with AA Milne and VC Andrews.

“I hate fun. I didn’t work my ass off to become a professional baseball pitcher so that anyone could have fun at my games.”

IT’S ADAM AND EVE. NOT ADAM AND CHEESE

When Jesus was resurrected, he gave a small wave to the heavens.

Fuck Jon, chill out you fat fuck. Maybe learn to throw to a base too while you’re at it.

Lester’s getting paid $25 million this year and has put up a 99 ERA+. It shows you where our society’s at right now with all that stuff.

“A guy fell into him and got nacho cheese on his arm and now he’s taking pictures and signing autographs. It shows you where our society’s at right now with all that stuff.”

Good work Jon. Never let pass the opportunity to be an asshole.

Whenever Twin Peaks isn’t on the air, the other shows should ask ‘Where is Twin Peaks?’ Or ‘Why isn’t Twin Peaks showing right now?’

Ice Delivery Man: You've got to start charging more than a dollar a bag. We lost four more men on this expedition!
Apu: If you can think of a better way to get ice, I'd like to hear it.