That's a good read on W. I tried to stand up and fly straight, but it wasn't easy with that sumbitch W in the White House. I dunno. They say he's a decent man, so maybe his advisors are confused.

KANYE 2020:
Who gon' stop me, huh?

Luckily I have already started on my goatee in preparation of this election. This being the Darkest Timeline and all that.

A Nightmare on Pennsylvania Ave…don't go to sleep or Donny Krueger will get you! Instead of knife gloves he just gropes you with his baby sized hands.

The silver lining (if you could call it that) for me is that my son is 18 months old so I don't have to explain this to him…yet. I'm hoping by the time he is 5 and starting to understand who the president is, we will have a new president.

I have both a figurative and a literal hangover right now. It is fucking disgusting.

Got to love the pandering to gun nuts with Grietens ad. MIZ!

No bullets!

I love "Hootenanny on the Fjords" - it always gets me toe tappin'.

I enjoy a good steel guitar solo as much as the next guy, but most radio country is just schmaltzy syrupy crap.

Look, if the Good Lord wanted us to cure cancer, he would have put the antidote in the Bible. Dare ye eat from the tree of knowledge?

I know this is satirical, but this sounds way too much like my sister for comfort. Her boyfriend is a cop and she sees things in black and blue.

There are a billion memes. They can't all be winners.

BaldWinning! Hey remember 2012 guys? Guys?

"You'll get to keep your same account" was a classic whopper of a lie alongside "You'll get to keep your doctor", "No new taxes", "I did not have sex with that woman", and "there is a god."

Now that they're on the biggest stage, it makes sense they would choose to wear the most offensive uniform possible!

Only to reappear as a nameless janitor in a California hospital.

I was gonna say I thought Cleveland switched to the "C" logo a few years back. Interesting that they reverted to the caricature for the playoffs.

WAKE UP SHEEPLE! Proton packs can't melt steel beams!

The Walking Dead is real, and they're voting for Killary!
-Everyone's older relatives at dinner