My toddlers are trained in gun safety as soon as they develop the pincher grasp needed to pull the trigger. The only thing that stops a bad toddler with a gun is a good toddler with a gun.

Wait a minute…dramaturgical? Dyads? Aren't those just buzzwords that idiots use to sound smart? I'm fired, aren't I?

I had just read the Martian when the trailer came out. When I saw it, I said "So you're just going to give away the whole 3rd act twist in the story, huh?" It seemed unnecessary.

I always thought of him as half man, half dog.

This has been Star Wars: Rogue Pun.

The Island: proof that even chemically castrated men would still want to bone Scarlet Johansson.

Star Wars: Rogue Pun

STAR WARS: Rogue Pun

You are always right to question the internet's motives. They are a real sumbitch.

I love Halloween. You know, it's just, it's just fun. Every year, it's just fun. Last Halloween I came as Janet Jackson's boob. It was topical. People got a… a big kick out of it. The year before that, I came as Monica Lewinsky, and I wore a stained dress. The year before that, I also came as Monica Lewinsky. And…

He did an interview on local radio and let me tell you, he was amazing. He was smart, funny, and self-deprecating. Just a fantastic human being in all respects. http://insidestl.com/tma-2-…

I never said that. It was just locker room talk. Look, over there! ISIS!

That would be about the only explanation for him getting absolutely manhandled by the replicants in nearly every encounter.

Are you a Replican or a Replicant?

Who cares if the movie is loyal to the source material? It is an adaptation, not a direct rendering.

I just watched this at home and was really impressed. I can imagine how blown away I'd been if I had seen this on the big screen.

I for one, thought this was the closest thing to Blood Meridian I have seen in a movie.

I for one, thought this was the closest thing to Blood Meridian I have seen in a movie.

Dammit, I thought I was uniquely clever with my Demogorgan joke. Comedy career: canceled.

No one who speaks German could be an evil man!