In America, you can shoot a Black person and not even serve a day in jail! Truly a paradise.

No, fuck that. Little truth time. I was savagely bullied from about 1st grade through Highschool. Small school, and it was one kid for 8 years that made every day of my life hell, but nothing ever happened to him because his daddy donated an entire fucking wing to the elementary school. I was undersized and had/have…

Man that is messed up, and right after he shoots Richie Incognito, I really think we need to take his guns away from him.

Are you really supporting the athlete that’s going to have over $100 million dollars in career earnings, who has dated models, who used to go clubbing with Cuban, has started twitter wars with other players while injured, and has no qualms about sharing his horndog behavior on instagram because his feelings got hurt…

Nope, if you are that concerned about a fucking sauce packet, you’re an asshole. You don’t get to be furious at a restaurant for not giving you a packet of sauce.

As a result he’s now dropped to the third round on the Buccaneers draft board.

I showed this story to my wife.

His 162 game averages:

“The funniest movie of the year! Brilliant! I watched it again and again until 3 am this morning! Two little thumbs up!

You can want to do something and then regret it afterwards, I certainly wanted to eat all those chicken wings yesterday but this morning I really regretted it.

I watched Office Christmas Party and thus can attest Silicon Valley wasn’t holding TJ back from signing on to dumpster fire projects.

I think TJ Miller thinks TJ Miller is above having regrets so I’m not sure about that.

Locally we know how fragile he is mentally.

I guess you don’t know locally that you can’t trade players for draft picks, though.

Is this the Zach Hample origin story?

This is the meanest thing Deadspin has ever done to its readers.

Would be an equally unbelievable title.

That season Ubaldo almost won a Cy Young feels like one thousand years ago. Man.

I think we’re acknowledging the facts: