I’m sorry for your loss.

IDK. For Karl Rove, or that guy that jacked up the price of a 62 year old drug, I’d probably make an exception to the “don’t hit your customers in the head” rule.

Served ‘em? I sold ‘em three for a dollar. And that was cutting me own throat.

Ever met an Australian? I totally believe it.

Save the bread!

Maybe the customer threatened bread. And the employe just wanted to, you know...

HE’S THE ONLY FUCKING PERSON WHO PRONOUNCES IT THAT WAY, NO IT ISN’T LEGIT.

Holy Moly! I worked and lived in a food co-op dorm in college, and no one who was sick was allowed to handle the food. College students, many of them stoned and high on ‘shrooms, ran the co-ops. The only Hep A outbreak in 4 years was very short-lived; as soon as the first few people showed up with symptoms, the house…

So the victim was identified by CBS as Sahak Sahakian, but a quick White Pages search revealed a couple of people with that name in the Glendale/SFV general area. I’m actually kinda serious about sending the dude a care package of some kind (I can totally see my 77-year-old dad in the same situation, so I empathize…

A couple of things come to mind when I saw this on his Instagram page. First, if he’s planning on being a nurse and he thinks that it’s smooth sailing then he needs a fucking reality check. I would dare him to go to any hospital and notice the staff members that are hustling their asses off. Chances are, they’re…

I hope you make him cry.

He’s kinda direct; her nephew. Favorite nephew. They had always been close, and since I live over 2000 miles away, her closest family in town. But he’s a Republican who at one time didn’t want his daughter to spend time with her because my mom was too liberal.

I’ll have you know that Kirkland plague infested hamsters are fucking delicious!

My stepdad’s name is Derrick, and he can be kind of an asshole about sharing food. This made me laugh more than it should have (although he wouldn’t punch an elderly person; that’s just so fucking wrong. I mean, when I get hungry, I get irritable, but I don’t punch people.)

I would never punch out an old dude over Nutella. Nutella tastes like three-day-old canned cake frosting.

GODDAMMIT, JACOB DERRICK.

I shudder to think what he might do for a Klondike bar.

This is what happens when an internet troll thinks he can get away with it in the real world.

Oh, the samples line at Costco. The great equalizer that will cause a millionaire and a blue-collar worker to poop in each other’s shoes in righteous indignation over an ounce of popcorn.