As long as you’re eating the saved bread with the mouth part of your face, I’m good.

OH MY GOD YOU TOO?

That’s not so much a sliding scale of appropriate as a slippery slope of nope.

Don’t forget that nothing goes with red, crunchy puree like a nice cold glass of Piglio Griglio!

My great aunt said "the hell with appetizers and entrees" and would only eat hot fudge sundaes when I took her out for dinner. The last word she ever spoke to me was "Whoopee!" when I brought her the last thing she ever ate - a mocha frappucino.

Ok but the rose petal lady is legitimately hilarious. Like, totally unhinged. Switching up the colours is also a nice, lunatic touch.

Your story reminds me of the time my 96-year old grandmother started crying in the back seat when my family was driving 40 miles to Madison, Wisconsin. My Dad had said “We should be there in about half an hour,” and she started sort of cry-laughing, and it turned out it was because she was remembering being a little…

Just because I like these. For your grandma.

oh a thousand times this!

My 85-year old mom lived with me for a few months while she waited for an assisted living apartment to become available (ie, someone died). We didn’t go out to eat a lot because she watched a lot of “Kitchen Confidential” and didn’t trust restaurants. Two stories:

it’s just SO WEIRD i dont think i would have done anything

Maybe she WAS a woodland nymph who had become incontinent due to age and was leaking. Those rose petals might have been nymph poop

AT LEAST ROSE PETAL LADY WAS GLORIOUS LIKE A WOODLAND NYMPH!!!

I had dental work done a couple months ago, and by the time it was over I was starving, but they had told me not to eat anything crunchy or hard. So my husband is driving me home, I am drooling to beat the band, and I think of something I want to eat, only I realize that I can’t because it is crunchy. So I moan, I…

I went to dinner with my grandpa every week at the same restaurant, and he always started dinner by asking mischievously, “Do you think I should get a screwdriver?” “Why not?” I’d say. “I’m driving!” Then he got fried oysters with a glass of house white, and a dish of vanilla ice cream for desert. Same thing, every…

Not red dye, just red. Jesus, are you trying to kill somebody? I want to speak to your manager.

i would probably be very tempted to ask her “ma’am? i notice your belongings seem to be leaking rose petals. may i get you a sealed bag for those before they start falling onto the floor again? i wouldn’t want you to lose all your rose petals”

Now I want to make a dish that is red, and somehow both pureed *and* crunchy, to make all their heads explode.

In the last couple years of my grandma’s life, she stopped giving any fucks and would wear slippers out to dinner. She would get up from the table the very instant she finished her food and race out to the car, no matter where in the meal the rest of us were. And she upped her one glass of Sauvignon blanc with ice…

The woman then said “I don’t eat anything pureed”—apparently her reason for needing whole potatoes.