I had so much anxiety about my new doctor approving my request for a refill on Xanax that I took my partially full bottle (prescribed by my previous doctor) to the appointment to prove I was taking it responsibly. She was very amused. I think nothing proves my anxiety more than having anxiety that my new doctor…
jexx
jexx30
did he give you the pizzas?
I'd like to think some fairy-godmother-type person left them for you knowing you'd need it ~_^
A lifetime of crippling earnestness has taught me that yes, I would love to help any random acquaintance pick out a card for her mom. It will be printed on %100 cotton cardstock, and be beautiful.
I was late for French (2nd year college so everything was in French all the time), and said, upon entering class, "Pardonnez-moi! Beaucoup de traffique." Everyone nodded except the professor who laughed, and we all looked at her, frowning. She said, "En Francaise, 'traffique' est... drugs."
Worst honest excuse I've ever given. "Sorry, I can't go to the party with you because I can't sit in a chair."
Wow, I didn't know Jean-Ralphio and Mona Lisa had another sibling...
Do you work in my office because nearly every Monday I walk into my office and get thanked by one of my co-workers for coming into work today. Because a certain co-worker who shall remain nameless rarely shows up on a Monday.
Whenever I tell the 2 year old I take care of to do something, her excuse is always "nooooo, my tummy hurts in my eye".
A party for ghosts who fuck?
"I'm not going out for your birthday because you didn't come to my FUCKING GHOST PARTY!"
Easter, like 5 years ago. My sister had, until this point, refused to acknowledge me as her relative on FB. It didn't bother me too much but when she started using it to let everyone know about family gatherings, I got more than a little annoyed. How hard is it to add me then block me from seeing everything but group…
ikr he would have loved to help pick out a card and would have been genuinely helpful
Not so much a specific excuse, but throughout my working life, I have been amazed at how often the same people would be sick on Fridays and/or Mondays over and over and somehow think people didn't know they were skiving off.
My brother: "I can't afford to fly out to see Dad this summer, because we really need to buy new patio furniture."
My wife just said, after I read this to her, "If I were the health teacher, I wouldn't have gotten him in trouble...but I would have tossed my lesson plan for the day, and conducted an impromptu class on communication, consent, confidentiality, and sexual ethics. 'Thank you, (name), for suggesting the topic of…
In high school one of the guys in my health class showed up about five minutes late for class. When he arrived the teacher asked why he was late. He replied "I saw two girls making out and I HAD to watch them."
When I was in eleventh grade, my depression was getting out of control. I was actually about two months away from a suicide attempt, but obviously didn't know that yet. I was taking chemistry with an evil teacher who clearly hated students and was just waiting for full pension. He was a bully to his students and I…
The dumbest excuse I've ever used: