I am now inspired to develop an optic costume dress that somehow changes from gold/white to blue/black and back again via remote.

How does a person even make it to adulthood without knowing what an herb is?

it is still very exciting. And I like extra thick toast. If I cut my toast.

I can't even imagine how many dishes and cuisines that guy has to rule out because soy sauce is too much for him. Actually, now that I think about it, even Panda fucking Express or pre-made California rolls sitting in the goddamn deli at Safeway is probably too much.

Angel Hair Pasta and Jalepeno Pesto

Hi, human who regularly orders diet soda with full-fat food here. I do this a) because mass amounts of sugar gives me migraines, but more importantly, because b) I can easily SAVE myself the 400+ calories I'd ingest from a full-calorie soda. Why is this so foreign to people? No one thinks they are cancelling out…

I should make clear that I understand about food deserts, but I have seen oregano and soy sauce at 7-11 and Rite Aid. If you going to cook you're going to need some basic staples of cooking, right?

It's like regular cow milk, but with more polite apologizing when you hook the machine up for extraction.

Two weeks before finishing culinary school I was training a fellow student to take over my station in our fine dining restaurant. I told him to grab a 4oz ladle and he asked back "What's a ladle?" To be fair, English was not his first language, though he had been living in America for ever a decade and was just about…

BCO Merchandising Idea: Coffee thermoses printed with the definitions of Herb, Red, and Crunchy. With monogrammed options, of course.

Cool, committed bagged-milk drinkers like my family, buy milk bag holders made from stainless steel or ceramic. The milk gets colder and stays colder longer outside the fridge.

I'm always completely thrown off when you get to a question that you have no viable words to answer with, like "what does basil taste like?". You're down the basics of language here. You just have no words, we've gotten to the end of the adjective list and we're done.

It tastes like green. Which is lucky, because he's probably allergic to red.

I was perusing diabetic cookbooks on Amazon, after my stepson was diagnosed with teh diabeetus, and one of the reviews for "Easy diabetic meals kids will love for sure!" or some title like that was complaining that none of the recipes were "easy" because they all asked for "bizarre ingredients" the reviewer had "never…

Yeah, I've had that before. Not in a restaurant/food service setting, but I used to work at Galyan's/Dick's Sporting Goods back in college. Every spring, during baseball season, parents would buy their kids these ridiculous like $450 aluminum/titanium/unobtainium baseball/softball bats and all of the bats were covered…

I could *almost* give the people a pass for thinking Chipotle served soup because, while I don't live near one, I do have a Qdoba close by and they have tortilla soup as a regular menu item and, in my mind, they are roughly equivalent establishments. BUT there is no reason to get all crazy about serving things in…

Oh my god.

Ugh, I hate the people who are just impossible to explain anything to. I had a conversation about pesto this week that went like this:

Yes, I am a little surprised that there hasn't been a Glory post yet, I guess it will have to wait till tomorrow.

You are remiss in your reporting duties by not mentioning that this is the incomparable Flula. Flula makes everything better.