The redheads in the band were upset at not being gingivited.

Jack off?

It’s worth looking at the flow of federal dollars. Something is deemed a priority and the federal government, usually through Byrne-Jag grants (may be something other; TL;DR), opens the spigot to law enforcement agencies targeting that issue.  So they have these raids and go out of their way to classify something as…

It’s now obvious Elway is more concerned with his job security than the long-term health and viability of the uhhhh, ya know, football playing product. All the other kids in the cafeteria know you can shop your washed-up Elvis Grbac to the horse-faced dingus, allowing them leverage to over-commit and -pay while the…

Al Michaels.  The Miracle on Ice’s greatest legacy is giving us Al fucking Michaels.  

Wagon train (so devastatingly beautiful) and prospector with the carriage ride a distant, albeit respectable third.  

Video: What happens to people who spend decades earning handsomely for shoveling empty calorie drivel into the fetid orifices of the American public. This is the discontent of achieving your childhood dream, only to discover and embody its meaninglessness. This is the displaced anger at your own apathy and…

New Orleans resident here (Note: I didn’t say NOLA, because I don’t live in Jefferson Parish (i.e. Bridge & Tunnel (TL;DR)).

Obviously, you’re so wrong. But this mostly reminds me of the Bret Kavanaugh hearings and the incident about misidentifying the singer from UB40. It’s like there’s a systemic rot in the architecture exposed by an extremely insignificant person.

I’d really like to see both sides be able to iron out their differences.

+1,200 text messages the day after a first date.

Separate post for the Roel Sanchez Hot Stove, or should we just do that here?

Totally!  I mean, they have such a great airport why’s everyone making such a big deal.

Give it a try. I toast a croissant, slather on top a good layer of peanut butter, then go with a hard-boiled egg (I’d go fried, but I eat this at work and we don’t have a kitchen) on top for breakfast.  It should be noted I swim about a half-mile beforehand, which is why I don’t look like an offensive lineman (yet).

Eggs + peanut butter on some type of bread is the sleeper hit of the breakfast season.  Absolute alchemy happening there.  Love your writing, Roth, but I’m team Spielman based on that alone.

Worked for Stalin.

We all want the hardware, and I salute Mr. Gabriel’s aggressive push for Worst Take so early into the year.  Let’s not knock someone from coming hard out of the gate.

I learned all the character and leadership I need from the self-fellating otter.

Thought he was gonna be a high roller in the big leagues, instead he’s getting Munson’d out to the middle of nowhere.

Everyone’ll tell you to put a lot of speed on the ball, but the real trick to the 18th hole at the Putt-o-Rama is to start the backswing when the jaw is shut.