Because nobody cares when a 1993 Plymouth Acclaim catches fire.

I almost feel bad for him, just because you know he's burying some part of his past with hookers and blow.

The easy answer to this: Scirocco. Pretty much 100% Golf mechanical parts

That's a sweet little car. I especially like the fog lamps.

How is it in that role? The Scirocco is on the short list for my next car.

How is it in that role? The Scirocco is on the short list for my next car.

Circa-1987 hoons took their toll.

Volkswagen Scirocco Mk. 1s seem to be rarer than non-racist Mississippi Governors nowadays, unfortunately.

Great observation!

Fallout humor

Gecko infestations will be an issue.

Me too. It's really a terrible thing.

Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy.

(Sheffield voice)

Needs moar four-speed. Other than that, NP.

I'd say take the license for ten years, and a stint in juvenile hall. That, plus a ban from ever buying hats and some pimple-b-gone, should get him back in shape.

Yay!

But just because you hit something at a low speed doesn't mean you were going that slow to begin with. Let's say you see a car pull out while you're doing about 15 in a parking lot, you hit the brakes, but the car was too close and you it it going 5 while still rapidly decelerating. A 5 MPH hit has just occurred. You…

Because there's these things called "mistakes", that even cautious people make.

Oh come on guys, it has a Corvette engine and velour.