This is America dammit. Call it socser so we don’t get it confused with our real sports.

I’m pissed off now, Jobu. Look, I go to you. I stick up for you. You no help me now. I say “Fuck you Jobu”, I do it myself.

I mean, heavens forbid they actually use that technology to figure out where a punt goes out of bounds so the refs don’t walk it back up an extra 10 yards, it’s not like I’m bitter about that or anything.

Funny, my wife asked for much the same thing.

I Seel what you did there.

Wow, look at ’em all go! Like Mareep to the slaughter...

OH FUCK YEAH JUST PLUG THAT SHIT STRAIGHT INTO MY VEINS IT’S SO GOOD.

Actually, I am surprised someone had the balls to report him.

“about damn time” -Steven Adams' testicles

The victim’s details have not yet been released. All we know is that his name is Richard, but he goes by Dick.

Indeed. I barbecued one the other day. She was delicious.

your life sounds awful

As far as Calvins on Sunday, he is only second to Hobbes for bringing a paper tiger to life.

You mean get really close to scoring then blow his load and shit the bed simultaneously?

Maybe the only time he’s been happy to have missed the penalty.

Lupica’s got some nerve ragging on Durant for joining the Warriors while simultaneously wearing Steph Curry’s sneakers.

“It’s real to me”

Yeah but was he inverted?

What’s worse, the duffel bag had a history of carrying weapons.