Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but the only “push present” I want is a healthy fucking child.

my father thought it was hysterical to tell me I looked like Fiona from Shrek. Shrek came out when I was 19 or 20.

I just want to give you a big hug because I know exactly how you feel.

Dad, my entire life: “you are far too fat for any man to ever want to marry you”

I do know one of them and consider him a friend, but in the grand scheme I can’t even imagine how you/everyone are feeling right now.

I love y’all but I’m still in mourning for two of my favorite subs that are getting axed in the retooling so :(

I am so, so sad about Kitchenette, the Vane, Millihelen, and whatever they’re doing to fuck up io9. :(

“Christians angry” will suffice

you should be a filmmaker with all that projection, wow

your weird little trolling/digs at every comment in this post are making me sad for you, did a curly haired lady break your heart or something?

My friend’s daughter cheers with Woodlands Elite and yeah, this sounds about right. It’s ridiculous.

for Arizona, and particularly for a second DUI offense, this is absolutely a slap on the wrist

Ashamed to admit it, but I’m intrigued by a “racist fart noise”

if he wasn’t Donovan McNabb and this was his second DUI offense he’d be in Tent City for quite a while.

That, and I’m sure teenage boys (and in my case, teenage girls,) hiding it from their parents

for those of us, male AND female, over 30 - it’s finding porn mags in the forest/woods

Woods porn is a pre-internet time-honored tradition of finding porn magazines in the woods.

I graduated in ‘99 and naked Polaroids were definitely a thing, up there with woods porn.

My favorite things are Nancy Grace hashtags, so can you imagine the possibilities with a cooking show?

She went from one philandering dickbag to another. The only difference is she was married and had children with one of them.