My friends and I have a policy of separating the bill based on who ate/drank what, then we put it on as few cards as possible, make it SUPER easy for the server to do so they don’t have to think about it, and then leave a large tip. Maybe it was just a DC thing that people were super accommodating of that? Unless we…

Yes. Being cheap is fine. They can find maps in thrift stores for a couple bucks I bet! Breaking the law (which stealing IS, even from libraries!) is NOT fine.

THIS. SO MUCH THIS. That was my 1 condition when I moved in with His Majesty. In-unit washer/dryer. We still do a lot of hand-washing because we have some Fancy Ass Kitchen Shit that can’t be washed in the dishwasher, but having that and the w/d? Heaven.

Yes, I am a jewelry thief, and I’m admitting it on Jezebel!

That’s why I figured they panned away though, because if it were enough to make even KIM crack, it had to be pretty impressive. Like, this could be one thing that actually does it. The whole thing is just an amazing smorgasbord of potential celebrity conspiracy theories, really.

I figured it was either because of TayTay or because Kim was in the throes of some pretty epic face-palming. The couple times we saw her as he was veering off course you could FEEL the “oh shit what is he about to do” look dawning.

I’ve had very thinly shaved golden beets that I think were slightly pickled or something, and THOSE were fantasmical. That sounds like it would be easy to make on ones own though, so I’m gonna have to find me some really good raw beef. They can be good, very rarely, and under very particular circumstances. But if…

Have you had it authenticated? Because Rich People have the annoying habit of wearing what looks like it should be fancy jewelry, but is in fact a very good fake.

You might be an actual genius.

Romaine and arugula together make the perfect salad base. And I am an official Salad Hater.

Seconded. And I have to say, I admire her SO MUCH for being able to talk about this stuff pretty openly. She’s not just keeping it to herself, she’s being honest about what might happen and how difficult it is for her.

I’m so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you’re handling everything extremely well though, I’m so impressed. I would be devastated if I lost His Majesty, and we aren’t even married. Day to day concerns would be the last things on my mind.

Unfortunately, that method of burial is illegal in the vast majority of places.

Get that will in place. It’s maybe the most important document ever. Otherwise, you guys sound so super solid and I am endlessly jealous. Not that my partner isn’t great, I just worry he would get gobbled up and spat out by my crazy family in the event I passed away before him.

Set him up with an accountant for a couple hours. Make him go. Make it VERY CLEAR that he has to learn at least the basics, enough to stop your worrying about him constantly. There is no excuse to know nothing about money. It sucks, but money makes the world go round. Make it a deal breaker. “Honey, I love you, and…

I really really hope this is what happened.

true. it’s better than too much hgtv anyways. though I do that as well.

My personal favorite theory is that Ed Sheeran IS the Illuminati, and this whole schtick is a ruse to lull us all into complacency.

No, I just have a very VERY overprotective mother. Things did not go well for me if she didn’t have my passwords. I managed to wean her off most of them by Senior year, and to her credit she never had full access to my email account.

Yes, yes I will watch that.